Waiting without knowing


I sped through twenty years
waiting without knowing.

We exploded in a sweetie shop-
a cascade of hundreds n thousands.
She, uniformed
in a heady mix of make-up and youth,
she was
all wild perm and laughter,
and in the small weeks of spring
I learned what she had fired in me.

She was
the outlined shadow
of a nameplate on the door
of a neighbour I never saw.
She was
the unsat seat for the old and infirm
on a jampackedfull bus.
She was the lyrics I forgot,
singing to school.
She was
the unmissed sister of an only child.
She was
my dads hand
empty of a pint or a shammy.
She had been
hiding in my telly
behind every sitcom laugh I’d ever heard.

For only when she had arrived
did I discover, she was the draughtsman,
lurking with love and nature
of all the things I could not see.

She slid into the hole of my past
and gave me
retrospective emptiness

And walking with her, late one night
She gifted me a death without fear
and the warm finality of Us.

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20 thoughts on “Waiting without knowing

  1. How fortunate you are to have had this and still have it. There’s hope in these words, hope for some kind of permanence in the love we might find.

  2. Its very powerful. Specially your ending… and the lines like…

    ‘She slid into the hole of my past
    and gave me
    retrospective emptiness’

    Beautiful. Thanks for sharing… Wish you have a great new year ahead…. May you have peace, love and prosperity …

    Shashi
    ॐ नमः शिवाय
    Om Namah Shivaya
    http://shadowdancingwithmind.blogspot.com/2011/12/whisper-no-one-is-there-in-living-haiku.html
    At Twitter @VerseEveryDay

  3. vivid imagery on this, way to go, smiles…

    Greetings: Excellent Blog.

    Happy Happy New Year.

    Best Wishes for the year of 2012…

    Your contribution is always welcome!

    Lots of blessings and cheers sending your way.

    See you soon.

    xoxox

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