Gone, Dementia

With you gone,

my heart yearns bleakly
for the twighlighted day,
when, with piss
trickling incongruously down my
leg, in
an airport lounge
of white-tuniced staff,
I can shout after you,
safe in my anger,
knowing you are just
five minutes gone.


14 thoughts on “Gone, Dementia

    • One little sentence trying to capture, how, in the hopelessness of losing a loved one, one would wish for dementia and the illusion of them just having left. Swap the bleakness of reality for the fresh agony of repeatedly being left continually for the first time.

  1. Dementia is not one thing I would wish for, for I have seen the never ending grief of learning your loved one is gone and cruelly being reminded of it (over and over again) under the guise of reality orientation…

    Anna :o]

    • and the wish here is for the agony of believing one has just been left five minutes ago than the bleak reality of never seeing again. I worked with dementia sufferers for thirteen years and learned to adapt responses to whatever was kindest for the individual. Reality orientation is a joke, the imposition of an inexplicable reality over the emotional reality of what a person feels to their core. Too few nurses/carers work WITH the sufferer for that persons well-being, in my experience. I remember seeing some use reality orientation as a form of sadistic enjoyment ….you’ve started me off here, this comment go could on and on. 🙂

      • I am with you on RO – however kindly it is used it often causes pain. Too many times have I seen it used sadisticly and too many times used by those who do not understand its (original) concept and are unwittingly cruel.

        I too adapt my responses to what I know the sufferer is comfortable with for often the ‘truth’ is too hard to bear.

        Glad to meet you Brian.

        Anna :o]

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